My Young Child - Building Values Through On-Line Stories

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Gilbert The Goat Learns Respect

Awareness of what it means to have and show respect for others develops as the infant and toddler comes into contact with an ever increasing number of people and social situations. Children need regular discussion of the value of this trait; that discussion can grow out of real life situations as well as from stories.

Two and three year olds
Two and three year olds tend to be very focused on their own wants and needs. Those who have siblings or are in day care will be more aware that they must accommodate others, but respect as a concept is too abstract for them.

What you can do
At this stage, teach your child to behave in ways that is considerate of others in a practical matter. For example, reinforce turn taking and use of words like please or thank you.

Four and five year olds
Four and five year olds are very involved in socializing. They tend to be intensely aware of the importance of friends. However, developmentally they are still concerned with their own needs and are likely to have to be reminded to show the same respect to others that they expect to be shown.

What you can do
At home and at school, children of this age will need coaching on respecting the needs and feelings of people around them, on the importance of following directions, waiting for their turn and acting thoughtfully. As you model and discuss these points, be sure to emphasize how showing respect is a good way to gain approval and build friendships.

Six and seven year olds
Six and seven year olds should have many examples of people being respectful or disrespectful in their daily lives, and will be able to understand the concept of respect if you demonstrate it with examples.

What you can do
Ask children to give you their own observations during their daily lives when people are or aren’t respectful of each other. Examples might include being disrespectful to someone in a store by behaving badly or speaking rudely to them, or not using manners. Emphasize that showing respect means treating someone like they would like to be treated, and discuss what this means in practical terms.